Lost

Feeling lost in my soul,

Not knowing which way to go.

Where the time is ticking slow.

Who to turn to, I don’t know?

Swirls of emotions filling up.

Over filling my body, like a cup.

Wanting to be set free from the failure I feel.

Hoping and praying that the problems in my life, aren’t real.

Unfortunately, they are.

Is the solutions end, so far?

How much emotions and love are surrounded by me?

Not too many as far as I can see.

I feel sad, for most of the day.

A fake smile, doesn’t always pay.

Putting aside how I truly feel.

Makes me feel fake, not real.

I do it to feel human.

I do it to feel sane.

I do it, so my life isn’t filled with the ache of infinite pain.

Heartache

When concentration begets focus,

As you are trying to think.

What went wrong?

Where’s the link?

Frustration turns to anger,

and love lost does to a stranger.

Clear and undeniable tears,

Have wept themselves for years.

When enough, is not there and, “we’re over,” disappears.

Heartache remains.

Tied to yourself with chains.

Out of your soul, love drains,

As the summer storm rains.

Recovery is hiding silently,

Waiting in the back,

Watching and listening for a heartbeat,

To bring a life, back on track.

Lisa Ellison

Life and Memory

 Wish I would have paid attention,

And enjoy, in my life, the blessing,

Of knowing more from your heart.

The day, I knew, when it broke apart.

The laughter, the tears.

The memories, the fears.

We walk around as if run by gears.

Slowly they rust,

And eventually, turned to dust.

To survive we must.

In people, we need to trust.

When it’s our turn for our soul to rest,

I hope in life, you did your best.

The people that get left behind,

Will be the ones that have you on their mind.

The empty space of where you used to be,

Can’t ever be replaced.

Not by him or by me.

Lisa Ellison

August 31, 2013

Grandma

Life is unfair in so many ways,

I sit here with my mind, all in a daze.

Thinking of you and wishing you were here,

To give me that smile, and bring me some cheer.

Whenever I saw you, you were happy with delight,

You made me feel like things will be alright.

You welcomed me and mine with open arms, held tight.

Without that warm smile, this world doesn’t seem right.

The love you had for your family was quite clear.

You wore a big smile whenever we were near.

The tears of missing you were mixed with happy tears.

You were surrounded by a loving family for so many years.

The happy times, the memories that made you smile.

The way your eyes would light up when we could visit for a while.

I won’t say good bye, I will say, “see you real soon.”

When the stars align and our souls are in tune.

I love you forever and nobody can fill this empty space.

I miss you so much, but I know you are in a good place.

Lisa Ellison

8/15/2015

Only Light

October rain hits gently against the darkened window night,

As the fire burning crackles and holds the only light.

A projected shadow looms, dancing wildly on the wall,

There, sat a single figure looking so meek and small.

A blank stare is held, without much of moving lash,

Tears ran fluidly, as is if there were an infinite stash.

Unsteady hands hold a picture tightly, with a longing to see,

Because of unfortunate events, that will never be.

A weak hopeful prayer whispered numbly, from dry lips,

Praying the pain away that is covering them, like a total eclipse.

Lisa Ellison

Written: 6/19/2016